Bruno was a navy pilot during the Pacific War and upon his return, took over this bar from his father and ran it until his death in 2000. Bruno loved to pour martini's and nothing else. If you ordered a scotch, he would order you down the street.
In fact, Bruno had is own guidelines for proper bar etiquette.
1. If you tried to order a 3rd cocktail, he would kick you out.
2. If you tried to buy a lady a drink, he would kick you out.
3. If you spoke in a loud voice, he would kick you out.
4. If you played anything other than Dooley Wilson's version of "As time goes by" on the jukebox, he would kick you out.
You could smoke at Bruno's. Since he could not get anyone to work with him, he had no employees. The smoking regulations in California do not make it illegal to smoke, per se, they prohibit it because of the employee health risk, so you were, technically, free to smoke at the Aub Zam Zam.
5. If you smoked more than 3 cigarettes, he would kick you out.
There was no service at any table, only the bar.
6. If you sat at a table, he would kick you out.
We used to go just to not be kicked out and, boy, was that a challenge. Besides, it was an art deco refuge in the middle of the hippy, dippy Haight and, damnit, Bruno made just one hell of a fine gin martini.
Oh yes, I forgot.
7. If you ordered a vodka martini, he would kick you out.
8. If you ordered a martini with more than one olive, he would kick you out.
9. If you ordered your martini on the rocks, he would kick you out.
10. If you ordered it "dirty" or any other way other than the way Bruno made them, he would kick you out.
9. If you ordered your martini on the rocks, he would kick you out.
10. If you ordered it "dirty" or any other way other than the way Bruno made them, he would kick you out.
Bruno would hold court with a very small clique of his regulars and the only conversation he would respond to and tolerate from anyone else was, "A martini, please."
I think you get the picture of life with Bruno at the Persian Aub Zam Zam.
One night, three of us taxi out to the Haight to enjoy one martini with Bruno. We walk in, quietly and politely, as if we're on tippy toes and on broken glass, just as he is in the process of kicking out two knuckleheads. These idiots must have ordered Budweisers.
We've been here before and we know Bruno. He is madder than usual. He has walked around the bar and was getting ready to push the two knuckleheads physically out the door. He shouts, "Get out of my Bar!"
For no apparent reason, he then turns and points to me, just an bystander standing innocently to the side, and ignoring my two friends, he adds, "And, you, too!"
For no apparent reason, he then turns and points to me, just an bystander standing innocently to the side, and ignoring my two friends, he adds, "And, you, too!"
I was shocked, shocked, I say. I had no defense and his ruling was final. My friends, recognizing a lost cause, slid up to the bar and stayed. I taxi'd back to the John Barleycorn, armed with a good story.
The San Francisco Chronicle had this to say in his Obituary:
Mr. Mooshei was known for his martinis. He mixed Boord's gin and Boissiere vermouth -- in a ratio, he said, of 1000 to 1 -- and served ice cold in 3- ounce glasses, the same ones his father used when he opened the Zam Zam in 1941.
The San Francisco Chronicle had this to say in his Obituary:
Mr. Mooshei was known for his martinis. He mixed Boord's gin and Boissiere vermouth -- in a ratio, he said, of 1000 to 1 -- and served ice cold in 3- ounce glasses, the same ones his father used when he opened the Zam Zam in 1941.
The Aub Zam Zam is still there, but new ownership has made it just one of many nice bars in the city. I miss that crazy old curmudgeon. I shall tip my next well crafted Martini to his memory and remember that flying shrapnel can make it dangerous when standing too close to knuckheads.
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