An Unexpected Transgender Success Story.

I worked as a poker dealer in a conservative community in Northern California.  I’m currently enjoying an extended leave of absence to pursue some overdue projects.  I went into the poker room the other night after not being in for a while.  I bought into a game and noticed a new female dealer that I didn’t know, named Robin.

As a team member of this room and knowing all the players and dealers, I wanted to ask her about her prior history as we only hire experienced and skilled dealers.  I also wanted to welcome her to the room, and emphasize what a great poker room it was.

I was in the middle of an intense hand, so I waited.   I was head’s up with a very aggressive and strong player and I needed to focus.  This player asked the dealer a question about the action and she answered.   I suddenly recognized the voice and I snapped and turned to look at Robin, the dealer.   It was Robert, a long time male dealer here, in full female form, complete with shoulder length hair, a perfectly flawless manicure, polished nails, jewelry and a wedding band.  All dealers in this room, male or female, wear an ugly unisex uniform of brown slacks and shirt.

At some time during my leave away, Robert had left and Robin had checked in.  I couldn’t control my shock at this dramatic and sudden realization.  I can’t tell you how close I was to screaming, “Robert? Is that you?  Oh, My God!  Just what the hell is going on here?”  I was so thankful that I had been in such a serious poker hand that I had not made those verbal eruptions, which would have embarrassed and humiliated us all.

I wasn’t sure if anyone else knew.  Robert had worked the early shift and now Robin was working a late shift with different players, dealers and management.  Still, our gossip grape vine is pretty active, so it was probably news but I, for sure, wasn’t going to be a part of it.

I was trying to compose myself again to face my strong opponent.  The next thing was for the dealer to expose the three cards of the flop, as it’s called in Texas Hold’em.  Robin then put down the cards: Qs, Qh, Qd or Queen, Queen, Queen.  The odds of that are about 5,900 to 1.

Now, I’m fully aware that transgender is about how one identifies themselves and technically, it could work with either a hetero-sexual or homo-sexual orientation, but this flop really made me lose focus and had me stifling a giggle.  I was probably up against a pair, giving my opponent a full house.  My Ace King needed help, so I folded to his large opening bet.

I had to get up and walk around, re-composing myself.  When I returned, Robin had been relieved as the dealer and was at another table.  I did want to privately chat with her since Robert was always open and friendly with me. He was a good team member and really one of the good guys.  We had most recently talked about Social Security and how best to take the benefits, as I was already receiving them.  I wanted to wish her well and accept her however she now saw herself.  In other words, I wanted Robert to know that I accepted her as Robin.

As I continued to play, I kept thinking about this situation.  I would have thought that the easy way would have been to quit this casino, make your transformation, move to a new city, get a new job and start with a clean slate with people that do not now know your history.  This seemed to be the way to do it.

We are a poker room in a small town in a conservative part of Northern California.  Most of our players are regulars.  Poker players are known for their intolerance, rudeness and for being general all-around idiots and jerks.  They’re openly homophobic and very narrow minded.  

Now, here is the situation.  Robert leaves work on a Friday and Robin clocks in on Monday.  What strength of character that displays.  Just how badly did he want this new honesty.  How tough was it to expose himself to this type of rejection and hostility.  The more I thought about it, the more I was amazed by it.  It really was, as JFK wrote, a profile in courage.

As Robin went on break, I approached, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "It is good to see you again, my friend."  She beamed back a smile, thanked me for not openly recognizing her at the table and she actually gave me a small, warm hug.

I wanted to comment on my thoughts about how I admired the courage it took.  I had the absolute right idea but my execution, as usual, was just a bit flawed. I honestly stated the following:

 "I really applaud you having the balls to do this."



Authors footnote:
I shared this story with Robin prior to posting it.  Not only did she love it and laughed, but she gave me some great ideas in keeping the proper perspective on my use of masculine and feminine pronouns, so they accurately represented her feelings.

She also informed me that, besides a few snickering comments made behind her back, her acceptance had pleasantly surprised her and the casino's health coverage had been very helpful.  I guess we're more enlightened out here in the sticks than I gave credit for.

To your continued happiness, my friend!
FC